I don't think brook has ever known best
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
