I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
