week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
