I feel like abortions should bother me more
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize