eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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