you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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