Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dicks are not precious.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
