did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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