So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
