Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
