I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
