i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is classic penis vs brain.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
