She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize