you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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