I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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