Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
