so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
