I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
