So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
