Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
