This is the prime rib incident all over again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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