i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
