wat bout pragnant strippers??
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
