Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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