Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
