I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
