my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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