he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
