I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize