It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
