Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
