Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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