Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's rum buckets o'clock
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
