i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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