singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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