Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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