there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize