can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
