The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
