For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
