Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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