Banned from zoo.
Again?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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