stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
