I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
