I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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