The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
