garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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