Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
