I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
