finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
