I molested 6 butterflies tonight
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
