So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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