you didnt know i had herpes?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You took a bar mat shot.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize