Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize