Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
