Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
