I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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