I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize