You can't special order awesome
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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