Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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