My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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