the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
