I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize