Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
