Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
