watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
