I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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